Homer's Beer Song:Doh - the stuff that buys me beerRay - the guy who sells me beerMe - the guy who drinks the beerFar - a long way to get beerSo - I'll have another beerLa - I'll have another beerTea - no thanks I'm drinking beerThat will bring us back to [looks down into empty beer glass and slaps forehead] D'OH!!
My Oblivion experience:
Huzzah! Okay, I'll defrag. Yay, hard drive done. Now I get to play. Huh. The opening's screwy. Wonder why. Oh, look, character creation. You know, they really should show you your character so you can tell what adjustments to make. And here comes the game. Wait, why is everything white except the user interface? I'll change the video settings. Oh look, the game crashed. Restart. Edit more graphics settings. Game crash again. Noticing a pattern I don't like here. Restart again. Oh look, everything's still white. This is a problem. Shut down game and comp. Go to computer store. Stare at graphics cards. Get salesman to help me with graphics cards. One NVidia 6800 later, go home. Install new graphics card. Marvel at how much prettier my old card (ATI Radeon 9265) was. Boot computer. Gorram, all my icons got moved. Install new video card drives and uninstalll ATI software. Put icons in right spots again. Run Oblivion. Weird sound glitch in opening credits. Hopefully it will go away. Oh, that's what I look like. Huh. Need to change that later. Whee, it's hard to move. Let's play with the mouse settings. One turning down the sensitivity later. Ah, that's better. Now why is the mouse jumping around in the menus? Oh well, I can live with that. Okay, not as pretty as screen shots, but I am running on low end card and system. And ooh, I can sneak. I think I'm gonna be a sneaky bastard. Sneak sneak sneak. Nifty, stuff. Sneak, sneak, sneak. Hey, my sneaking skill went up. Coolness. Ooh, a bow. I never did get the hang of archery in Morrowwind. Maybe I can try it here. Oh look, an enemy who isn't a rat. And they haven't spotted me yet. W00t! That gives me enough time to aim and shoot. Huh, sneak attack. V. cool.
(there is more going on, but I'm trying to avoid spoilers.)
Oh, look, I can make potions. Cheese+lettuce+mushrooms=lunch.
What do you mean, protect (blank guy)? I can't even figure out where the heck you guys are. Oh, there you are. Come back here. Damn you, stay still. Archery is defn my sport, if the target stays still. Oh dear, he's dead. But I get shiny thing. And now to get out of the damn sewers. Hey, I can change my class, race, and sign. V. cool. Allows for some tweaking of my new spell thief class. And for a change of race and gender. Now a female wood elf instead of a male Imperial. Ooh, I can alter facial structure. You know, this would be much easier if the GORRAM mouse didn't keep jumping around. After some more editing, out of sewers. Oh pretty. Now where to go? I miss my minimap. I am going to get so damn lost in this game. (Note to self, make bag of holding or Oblivion varient thereof, at first chance. Will need one) Oh look, a nonhostile mud crab, aka lunch! Oh, it's almost midnight. I should go to bed.
Notes from experience: when a video card chipset isn't supported, it REALLY isn't supported. Go get one that is. I got mine for under a hundred. Eventually I will need to get a mobo with PCI express slots. But not yet. And more memory is good. I got 512MB and I keep seeing loading screens. Quick loading screens, but still. And the music is wonderful. Defn worth burning off those mp3s. Once I figure out which ones are music. And the opening animation (what I saw of it), was gorgeous. And even the enemies are better-looking. No more blocky faces like in Morrowwind. But goblins are still ugly. I think that's a rule of RPGs.
I think I'm gonna write a character creation faq since there are so many options. My advice in a shortened form...try everything once. Make sure that your custom class (and yes, you should make one) is based on skills that you get bonuses to. This means you get nifty effects from the leveling up of these skills faster. You get to journeyman skill in the skills you pick immediately, which means like for sneak, I got a sneak attack x3. And sneaking and marksmanship are a natural combo. It's much easier to sneak attack someone if you're sniping them. And pick one of blunt or blade. You don't need both.
My Oblivion experience:
Huzzah! Okay, I'll defrag. Yay, hard drive done. Now I get to play. Huh. The opening's screwy. Wonder why. Oh, look, character creation. You know, they really should show you your character so you can tell what adjustments to make. And here comes the game. Wait, why is everything white except the user interface? I'll change the video settings. Oh look, the game crashed. Restart. Edit more graphics settings. Game crash again. Noticing a pattern I don't like here. Restart again. Oh look, everything's still white. This is a problem. Shut down game and comp. Go to computer store. Stare at graphics cards. Get salesman to help me with graphics cards. One NVidia 6800 later, go home. Install new graphics card. Marvel at how much prettier my old card (ATI Radeon 9265) was. Boot computer. Gorram, all my icons got moved. Install new video card drives and uninstalll ATI software. Put icons in right spots again. Run Oblivion. Weird sound glitch in opening credits. Hopefully it will go away. Oh, that's what I look like. Huh. Need to change that later. Whee, it's hard to move. Let's play with the mouse settings. One turning down the sensitivity later. Ah, that's better. Now why is the mouse jumping around in the menus? Oh well, I can live with that. Okay, not as pretty as screen shots, but I am running on low end card and system. And ooh, I can sneak. I think I'm gonna be a sneaky bastard. Sneak sneak sneak. Nifty, stuff. Sneak, sneak, sneak. Hey, my sneaking skill went up. Coolness. Ooh, a bow. I never did get the hang of archery in Morrowwind. Maybe I can try it here. Oh look, an enemy who isn't a rat. And they haven't spotted me yet. W00t! That gives me enough time to aim and shoot. Huh, sneak attack. V. cool.
(there is more going on, but I'm trying to avoid spoilers.)
Oh, look, I can make potions. Cheese+lettuce+mushrooms=lunch.
What do you mean, protect (blank guy)? I can't even figure out where the heck you guys are. Oh, there you are. Come back here. Damn you, stay still. Archery is defn my sport, if the target stays still. Oh dear, he's dead. But I get shiny thing. And now to get out of the damn sewers. Hey, I can change my class, race, and sign. V. cool. Allows for some tweaking of my new spell thief class. And for a change of race and gender. Now a female wood elf instead of a male Imperial. Ooh, I can alter facial structure. You know, this would be much easier if the GORRAM mouse didn't keep jumping around. After some more editing, out of sewers. Oh pretty. Now where to go? I miss my minimap. I am going to get so damn lost in this game. (Note to self, make bag of holding or Oblivion varient thereof, at first chance. Will need one) Oh look, a nonhostile mud crab, aka lunch! Oh, it's almost midnight. I should go to bed.
Notes from experience: when a video card chipset isn't supported, it REALLY isn't supported. Go get one that is. I got mine for under a hundred. Eventually I will need to get a mobo with PCI express slots. But not yet. And more memory is good. I got 512MB and I keep seeing loading screens. Quick loading screens, but still. And the music is wonderful. Defn worth burning off those mp3s. Once I figure out which ones are music. And the opening animation (what I saw of it), was gorgeous. And even the enemies are better-looking. No more blocky faces like in Morrowwind. But goblins are still ugly. I think that's a rule of RPGs.
I think I'm gonna write a character creation faq since there are so many options. My advice in a shortened form...try everything once. Make sure that your custom class (and yes, you should make one) is based on skills that you get bonuses to. This means you get nifty effects from the leveling up of these skills faster. You get to journeyman skill in the skills you pick immediately, which means like for sneak, I got a sneak attack x3. And sneaking and marksmanship are a natural combo. It's much easier to sneak attack someone if you're sniping them. And pick one of blunt or blade. You don't need both.