The Varied Insanities of Melfina the Blue

I'm not sure if this story is over here on IJ anywhere, so I'm reposting. This is my rarities fic and I am ridiculously proud of it.
Title: Tricksy, tricksy Malfoys
Author: melfinatheblue
Beta: eeyore glanced over it
Rating:NC-17
Pairing(s): Lucius/Severus, Lucius/Harry
Summary: When Lucius becomes a professor at Hogwarts, Harry's determined to find out his evil plan.
Disclaimer: This is a work of fanfiction set in the Harry Potter universe – all recognisable characters and settings are the property of J. K. Rowling and her associates. No copyright infringement is intended. No profit is made from this work. Please observe your local laws with regards to the age-limit and content of this work
Warning(s):AU, teacher-student sex, spanking, bondage,
Word Count: 5000ish
Author's Notes: The class is so not my idea. Thank you zephre! Also many thanks to eeyore for getting me out of a plot hole and to one of our mods for giving me the bunny in the first place. All participants are 16 or over. I really tried to write what you wanted, Lilian, and it just didn't work, and I hope this is at least okay.
You can read it at LJ here

Harry, Hermione, and Ron sat together at the Gryffindor table. It was the first day of classes, and no one was happy.

"You know, Ron, some days are just shit."

"I still can't believe Snape got the DADA job. How the hell did he get that? And why is Malfoy teaching us?"

"Because life hates me, Ron. It's the only explanation."

"Harry, mate, we can deal with Malfoy. He's a git, just like his son."

"Well, yes, but really, did he have to take a job as a professor here?"

"Apparently, yes. The governors thought it was a wonderful idea."

"Are they cracked?"

"Harry, no. Given the current state of affairs between the Wizarding World and the Muggle one, the governors decided it was best for all students from a non-wizarding household to have their own version of Muggle Studies, but about the Wizarding World."

"Hermione, you can't be happy about this!"

"Harry, I don't like the fact that Lucius Malfoy is teaching it, but the aims of the class are certainly worthwhile."

"He's a Death Eater!"

"We can't prove that. That's why he's not in Azkaban, Harry. And at least, if he's here, we can keep an eye on him."

"I still don't like it."

"Dumbledore's watching him like a hawk, as are we. He can't do anything."

"I still don't like it," Harry said, glaring at Malfoy from the Gryffindor table. Hermione shook her head.

"Harry, with the Daily Prophet's smear campaign, no one will believe you. Just try to cope with it, okay? And don't aggravate him like you did with Umbridge last year."

"I'm not making any promises, Hermione."

"Just try, Harry. Please?"

Harry shrugged and tucked into the breakfast that had just appeared in front of them. Food first, bringing down an evil Death Eater later.

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Their first class of Wizarding Traditions, or as most of the Gryffindors had come to call it, Death Eater Indoctrination, was after Potions that afternoon. Potions had been surprisingly good, all things considered. Not having to deal with Snape made it easier, for one. As Harry wandered into the classroom, he noticed Draco and his father having a heated discussion. Neither one noticed him.

"And that, Draco, is the end of the matter. Are we clear?"

"Yes sir."

Draco did not look happy. Harry was surprised when Lucius patted him on the shoulder.

"Now, my dragon, you'd better get to your next class. Wouldn't want to make you late."

"Yes, sir."

Draco turned to go, and then saw Harry.

"Can I help you, Potter?" he said, sarcasm dripping from every word.

"Just coming to class, Malfoy."

Draco raised an eyebrow, but said nothing. He nodded to his father and left the room.

"Please take your seat, Mr. Potter."

"I'll be watching you, you know."

"If you like. Far be it from me to interfere with a Gryffindor's need to be a hero."

"I know what you are."

Lucius smiled, slowly.

"Mister Potter, if you are trying to scare me, you are wasting your breath. You're not frightening or intimidating at all. Now take a seat before I start docking house points for impertinence."

Harry scowled, but sat down. It wasn't worth it, not yet, anyway. He'd catch Lucius Malfoy doing something wrong, sooner or later, and then he'd have him.

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A few weeks later Harry was bone-dead weary. He'd spied on Malfoy day and night, and seen nothing untoward. Malfoy's classes, while boring as heck, contained none of the Death Eater propaganda that he'd been expecting. Instead he was apparently trying to shove pureblood protocol down all their throats. He put his head down on his desk, listening to Malfoy drone on about the Wizengamot, or some such and drifted off.

"Mr. Potter."

Being awakened by Lucius Malfoy was not in Harry's Top Ten list of awful things, but maybe it should have been.

"Mr. Potter, if you are completely incapable of paying attention in class, obviously you need special tutelage. My office, seven tonight, and five points from your house. And in future, I do hope you decide to put your education ahead of your sexual gratification."

"I wasn't. What?"

"Mister Potter, I really don't care why you lost sleep and decided it was a good idea to make it up during my class. I was hoping, for your sake, that it was something vaguely impressive, but sadly not. My office, seven. Be late, and I assure you things will be far worse."

Harry groaned and rolled his eyes. Malfoy pretended to ignore the gesture, and turned around to continue his lecture.

"Now, as I was saying, the Wizengamot..."

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Harry grabbed his cloak before he went to dinner. Never knew when it would come in handy. He sat down to dinner and noticed neither Snape nor Malfoy was at the High Table. They must be plotting together. He bolted down his dinner and ran off towards Malfoy's office, eager to catch them in the act.

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"You know, Lucius, I really should be annoyed at you for feeding me like this."

"Severus, my friend, you do deserve the good things in life on occasion."

"And I suppose you count yourself among the good things?"

Lucius smiled, and dipped a ripe strawberry into the whipped cream and slowly licked it off. Snape stared.

"Possibly. Are you complaining?"

"Depends, Lucius. Is there extra cream?"

"Why?"

"The combination of Malfoy and cream is one of my favorite desserts."

"Severus, you know I have the prat who lived coming at seven."

"Well, it seems such a shame to rush."

Severus slipped under the table with the bowl of cream. For a few moments all was quiet, and then Lucius let out a little moan. Harry, listening outside, heard it and wondered what was going on. The door was unlocked; it would be so easy to slip in. He looked through the keyhole. Malfoy was sitting there, facing away from him, at a small table. There was a long tablecloth, and the remains of two meals. He slowly opened the door and slipped in. Malfoy's head was thrown back, and for a moment Harry thought he'd dozed off. Then he noticed the hands clutching at the tablecloth. He moved around to look at Malfoy's face, and unfortunately for Harry, Severus chose that moment to finish Lucius off and get out from under the table.

"Oh, Severus!"

"OH MY GOD!"

Harry hadn't meant to say anything, it just slipped out in his shock. Snape, greasy git Snape, had been under the table doing sexual things to Lucius Malfoy! Oh god, eww!

"It appears we have a voyeur, Severus. Close the door and stand in front of it, will you?"

Harry moved quickly to get out of the room before Snape reached the door. Unfortunately, he tripped on the sill and went sprawling, his invisibility cloak flying off. Snape grabbed him and pulled him back into the room.

"Potter, do you know what the punishment is for spying on a professor? For breaking into a professor's office? Expulsion. And I assure you, being Dumbledore's golden boy won't get you out of this."

"You wouldn't dare!"

Lucius Malfoy leisurely stood up and walked over to Harry, who was struggling to get away from Snape.

"Your words are brave, boy, but your voice quavers. You don't want to be expelled, do you? And I think an object lesson would be so much more effective as a deterrent. Don't you agree, Severus?"

"Lucius, I don't know what you're thinking, but I suspect it's not something I approve of."

Lucius's voice was as smooth as honey.

"Severus, my friend. This boy is young enough to be my son. Surely you don't think I plan to debauch him?"

"I trust you about as far as I can throw you, Lucius."

"My dear friend, you wound me."

Severus rolled his eyes. Lucius started to laugh.

"What is so funny, pray tell?"

Lucius managed to stop laughing, but his smile was broad.

"Draco's rubbing off on you, Severus."

"Lucius, you are obviously suffering from some kind of delusion."

"Think what you like, Severus. Now what shall we do with this little spy?"

"LET ME GO!"

"Very well. Severus, release the boy."

Severus cocked an eyebrow, but released Harry. Harry immediately made a break for the door. He grabbed the door handle and a flash of light propelled him backwards into a chair. He tried to get up and realized he was stuck to the chair.

"Ow. You knew it was going to do that, didn't you?"

Lucius's tone was smug as he spoke. "Wards, boy. If you wish to become an Auror, you really need to learn about them, how to recognize them, and how to disable them."

"You're not going to let me leave, are you?"

"Wouldn't really be fair to the other students if you left without serving your detention, now would it?"

"So what are you going to do, Professor Malfoy? Torture me in an attempt to have me tell you everything I know?"

"You know, Severus, I think the boy here may be suffering from an extremely over-active imagination. Me, torture a boy?"

"I have a name, Malfoy!"

"Potter, you will address me properly or not at all."

"Bite me Malfoy!"

Lucius smiled. The smile made Harry quake. There was something about it, something evil and heartless and promising.

"Severus, don't you have detention with someone?"

"Yes, with Weasley."

"Perhaps you should run along to it then. I certainly don't want to make you late."

"Lucius, remember, he's a boy and Dumbledore will do everything in his power to hurt you if you harm him."

"Severus, my friend, I have no intention of harming the boy. Embarrassing him a bit, yes. But never harm. Put your mind at ease."

Lucius patted Severus on the shoulder. Severus looked at him, unsure.

"Lucius, do nothing I would not do."

"Severus, I promise you. Potter will leave here completely unharmed."

"But intact?"

"Possibly. That will be up to him, not me. His choice."

"Lucius, you're playing a very dangerous game."

"Those are the most fun, Severus, as you well know. Now go make Weasley's life a living hell for a bit."

Severus looked at Lucius closely for a moment, then turned and walked out of the room.

"Hey, how come he got through?"

"Potter, why do you think I'm going to tell you anything about wards? Hogwarts has an extensive library, and I would be remiss if I did not encourage you to use it."

"You're a Death Eater."

"Is that meant to wound me in some fashion? You've been calling me a Death Eater for several months now. Rather like Draco's calling that friend of yours a mudblood, the insult has now fallen flat. If you really want to hurt someone, you must learn to vary the material."

"How dare you call Hermione a mudblood! You racist bastard!"

"Potter, details are rather important. I know you tend to follow the Gryffindor example of charge and damn the consequences, but that will get you into quite a bit of trouble if you don't pay attention to the details. I referred to my son calling your friend a mudblood, I did not do so. And now you've added insulting a professor to your list of crimes. My, my, my."

Lucius wagged his finger at Harry as he walked slowly towards him. He stood in front of Harry's chair and stared down at him for a bit.

"Get it over with."

"Potter, patience. I'm considering what punishment would be the most effective."

"Nothing you do will be effective, Malfoy, and I'll tell Dumbledore everything you do."

"You know, Potter, I rather doubt that."

Lucius waved his wand and suddenly Harry wasn't wearing any clothing.

"Hey! What the fuck?"

"Potter, language."

"What'd you do to my clothes?"

Lucius indicated his desk, where Harry's clothes had just appeared, neatly folded.

"Give them BACK!"

Lucius raised an eyebrow and looked at Harry's lap.

"A bit self-conscious, are we, boy? But then again, with that little thing, I'm sure I would be too. I do hope you're still growing. You're not going to be able to do anything with that."

Harry turned bright-red.

"Hey! I'm perfectly-normally sized."

Lucius's voice was patronizing as he answered. "If you say so, boy. I'm sure you'll find other ways to please your partner."

"You're just saying that. Let me out of this chair and I'll show you what I can do with it."

Lucius leaned down to examine Harry's cock more closely. Harry felt his hair brush his groin and groaned. How did that feel good?

"Does it triple in size and girth? That's really the only way I can think of that it would be of a decent-enough size to be useful."

"Let me out!"

Harry was seeing red. How dare Malfoy, the scumbag, the Death Eater insult his size! He was perfectly normal! He struggled against the spell, and then, suddenly, he was free. He slammed into Malfoy, pushing him back into the wall and pinning him there. He was going to wipe that patronizing look right off his face. He grabbed Malfoy's head and forced it down to his then kissed him, hard, forcing his way in. The sensible part of his brain kept trying to tell him what a bloody stupid thing this was and as soon as he came to his senses he'd be horrified, but he ignored it. Malfoy tasted good, like strawberries.

He was surprised when Malfoy pushed him away and held him at arms-length.

"Potter, kissing is all well and good, but the goal is not to choke me with your tongue. Your lack of technique is nothing short of horrifying."

"Shut the fuck up!" Harry growled, struggling against Malfoy.

"As you wish, Mister Potter, as you wish."

Malfoy leaned in and kissed him. When Harry tried to stick his tongue into Malfoy's mouth, Malfoy growled and slapped his thigh. Harry broke off the kiss.

"Ow. What was that for?"

"You're not paying attention, and not listening. Obviously, you're hopeless and a waste of my time. I expect two feet on wards by the end of the week. Now get dressed and get out. You're done."

Malfoy turned his back to Harry and walked over to his desk. Harry boggled for a moment, then spoke.

"But, what? You wind me up, then tell me to get out? What the hell is wrong with you?"

Malfoy's voice was full of venom.

"Potter, you're a waste of my time. You can't kiss, which makes it extremely unlikely that you know how to do anything else with any modicum of competency, and adolescence fumblings bore me to tears. I could teach you, but it would be an exercise in frustration that I am not willing to go through. So, get out, Potter. You're done and you're simply not interesting."

Harry grabbed his clothes and quickly got dressed. He'd been angry before but now, oh now he was going to make Lucius Malfoy eat those words! He stomped out of Malfoy's office, slamming the door closed behind him. Lucius Malfoy was going to learn how good he was!

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Harry had calmed down a bit by breakfast the next morning, but he was still determined to make Malfoy pay. He stabbed his eggs with his fork, staring daggers at Malfoy, who was smugly eating his breakfast.

"Harry, what happened last night? What did that blighter do to you?"

"Ron, just an essay. On wards."

"Harry, you're looking at him like you want to stab that fork into him. He had to have done more than just given you an essay."

"Fine, Hermione. He said I was useless at stuff."

Hermione looked at Harry closely.

"What stuff, exactly?"

"Stuff I need to know to be an Auror. That sort of stuff."

Hermione resolved to talk to Harry in private later. Obviously something else had gone on.

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Hermione ambushed Harry just outside of the Common Room and dragged him into an empty classroom.

"Harry, what really happened?"

"He said I was useless at stuff, Hermione. That's it."

"So you were alternating between ogling him and looking like you wanted to kill him for no particular reason then?"

"Hermione, I really don't want to talk about it."

"Harry, did he do something to you?"

"Hermione, I'm not going to get any peace on this, am I?"

"No, Harry, because I'm your friend and I don't want you to shut me out. So tell me, I promise I won't tell anyone else."

Harry stared at his hands for a moment. When he finally replied, it came out in a rush.

"Well, I went up early cause I figured he and Snape were plotting, but that wasn't what they were doing, and then Malfoy caught me, and then I got stuck to a chair naked and he insulted my size, so I got mad and shoved him against the wall and snogged him and then he told me how I was doing it wrong and was useless and wasting his time and boring."

"Stuck to a chair, naked? And you kissed him?"

"Yeah."

"So, he tied you to a chair, stripped you, insulted you, and then you kissed him?"

"More or less, yeah."

"Harry, are you completely mad?"

"Hermione, just leave it, okay. You can either help me, or not."

"Help you with what?"

"I want to prove to him I'm not completely useless."

"I'm afraid to ask, but at what?"

"Um, sex stuff."

"Harry, let's recap. You want to prove to Lucius Malfoy, a Death Eater and your professor and a man old enough to be your father, that you're not useless by what, having sex with him? That's completely mental."

"Are you going to help or what?"

"Help you impress Lucius Malfoy by sleeping with him? No."

"Fine, then I'll figure it out on my own. But you'd better not tell anyone."

"No one would ever believe me, Harry."

Harry stalked off, leaving Hermione to wonder exactly what was going through his head, if anything.

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About two weeks later Harry had what he thought was a pretty solid plan. He'd done his research, which Hermione had eventually helped him with, and now he had gotten detention with Malfoy again. Tonight, he was going to prove he was damn well useful! He knocked on Malfoy's office door.

"Come in, Potter."

Harry opened the door and walked in. Malfoy was sitting at his desk, his hair neatly pulled back, grading some papers. He indicated a chair that had been pulled up at the opposite side of the desk.

"Sit, Potter."

Harry licked his lips. It was now or never.

"And what if I would rather have a different seat?"

"We've already had that discussion, Potter, and I stated that I was not interested."

"I think I can change your mind, sir."

"I sincerely doubt it."

Harry took a deep breath and slipped off his robe.

"Potter, sit. I'm not interested."

Harry walked over to the desk, and knelt in front of it. Malfoy raised an eyebrow and stood up, moving away from Harry.

"Potter, are you confused about the meaning of the word 'no'?"

"If you give me a chance..."

"You had your chance, and you failed. I see no reason to give you another one."

Harry unbuttoned his shirt and slipped it off. He then took off his pants, leaving just his boxers on.

"I think you like what you see, Malfoy, you just don't want to admit it."

"Potter, if you recall, I have already seen everything you have to offer and I was not impressed. Now put your clothes back on and sit down."

"I will not."

Malfoy put his head in his hands. Harry moved closer to him.

"Potter, let's get this clear right now. I am not going to have sex with you. Ever. You have nothing that impresses me except by reason of its miniaturization, and your technique is severely flawed. Now sit down!"

Harry turned back to his clothes, and pulled his wand out of a pocket. He turned back to Malfoy, wand pointing at him.

"I'm sure your wand work is very impressive, Potter, but that proves nothing about your sexual potency."

Harry decided that now was a perfect time to practice his nonverbal spell casting by sticking Malfoy to the wall. Malfoy didn't seem too happy about that.

"Potter, what in Merlin's name do you think you're doing?"

"Do you always talk this much before sex?"

"Potter, unstick me this instant! And we are not going to have sex!"

"You're stuck to a wall."

Malfoy's voice was exasperated.

"Yes, Potter, I am well aware of that. Now unstick me and put your clothes back on. Nothing is going to happen. I sincerely doubt you have it in you to rape me."

"Hey, you came on to me."

"Yes, Potter, but then I said no. My original action does not diminish my current no in any way, shape, or form. You would be well-advised to take that to heart."

Harry moved closer to Malfoy, and put his hand on Malfoy's groin.

"Potter, stop that this instant."

"Why? You'll like it, I promise."

"That is NOT THE POINT!"

"Could you be quiet, please? I'm trying to concentrate," said Harry, getting down on his knees and unzipping Malfoy's fly. Malfoy stiffened his body against the wall, and scowled down at him. Harry found it all very distracting. He pulled out Malfoy's penis, and was unpleasantly surprised to find out it was bigger than his. He wrapped his hand around it and gave a few experimental jerks. Malfoy was still babbling on, so Harry cast a silencing spell. After all, he needed to pay attention to what he was doing. Now the book had said that he should give it a lick or two first. He wondered vaguely if it, like Malfoy's mouth, would taste of strawberries.

He glanced up at Malfoy, and was surprised to see him turning bright red. He'd seen Draco blush, but never his father, and he was momentarily quite proud of himself. Obviously he was doing well. He licked the cock in his hand. It tasted salty, and more or less like skin tasted. No strawberries at all, sadly. He started doing exactly what the book had suggested. Malfoy seemed to like it, he thought. Of course it was hard to tell what he was yelling with the silencing spell, but Harry was sure he was happy. Harry smiled up at Malfoy, and noticed that his hair was stuck to the wall, and that had to be uncomfortable. He pondered for a moment, and then undid the sticking spell.

Malfoy was suddenly free, and apparently rather grumpy about the whole wall thing. He grabbed Harry and used a portkey. The room he had taken Harry to was a bit alarming with the chains and whips, but there was a big comfortable bed in the middle of it, and Malfoy pushed Harry towards it.

"You know, boy, I'm clearly going to have to teach you a lesson."

"See, I did know what I was doing."

"Potter, amazingly, that is not the point. And no, you did not. I am going to demonstrate exactly what you did wrong by doing it to you, starting with the bondage."

Ropes snaked around Harry's wrists and ankles, pulling him into a spread eagle position on his stomach. It wasn't very comfortable and Harry had to twist his head around to look at Malfoy.

"Ow."

"Oh, believe me Potter, the pain has just begun. No one ties me up, no one. Now, what do you think of this to start with?"

Malfoy held up a wooden paddle. Harry's eyes widened. The book had talked about spanking and such; Harry had dismissed it because how could anyone enjoy that? It looked like now he was going to find out. Malfoy sat on the bed and slid under Harry so that Harry's arse lay across his lap. He then yanked down Harry's boxers, and gave Harry a swat.

"Ow. Don't I get a say in this?"

"Did I get a say in being stuck to the wall and given a clumsy blow job?"

"Hey! OW!"

Malfoy had just hit him with the paddle, and Harry did not appreciate it. But Malfoy apparently had no intention of actually paying any attention to his protests and continued to hit his arse until it was bright red. Harry was pretty sure he was bright red all over at this point. His cock rubbing against Malfoy's as he was hit was very stimulating.

"Now, Potter, are you going to be a good boy?"

"That depends. Are you going to demonstrate proper technique on me?"

"I thought I might give another lesson. I do so enjoy the 'Your Special Friend, Your Prostate' one."

Harry was blushing so hard he glowed.

"I take it that has aroused your interest?"

"Um, it's a bit advanced to start with, isn't it?"

"Oh, you'll be just fine. All you need to do is relax and I promise you the sex of your life. Now are you going to be cooperative, or shall I keep you tied up?"

Harry thought about it for a long moment, too long for Malfoy. He was still thinking when the first finger wiggled into him. He scrunched up his face as it wiggled around inside of him. It felt weird, not bad, but weird, and then it hit a spot that made him jump.

"That, Potter, is your prostate. And that was just a brush. Imagine a cock thrusting into that spot."

Harry wormed around, trying to get a view of what Malfoy was doing, and more importantly, his cock.

"Potter, that is extremely distracting."

"I want to see!"

The ropes released him, and he turned around to look at Malfoy.

"Potter, it doesn't work very well in that position. Here, give me your leg, there, that's it."

Harry was not entirely sure about this idea. He was pretty sure Malfoy wasn't going to fit.

"Um, why am I the one on bottom? You're bigger than me."

"Precisely."

"What?"

Malfoy leaned close to Harry's ear. Harry decided he liked the feel of Malfoy's hair brushing his nipples.

"Harry, unfortunately you're a bit small for me. Now, I wouldn't worry too much about it, you're still a growing boy. But for the moment, that means I stay firmly on top. And trust me, for the first time, it's much easier to be passive."

"But..."

Harry started his sentence but got distracted when Malfoy slipped two fingers into him and hit his prostate again. After that, he had trouble coming up with words, much less a sentence. Malfoy's fingers were doing wonderfully brilliant things to him, after all. He whimpered when the fingers left. He wanted them back.

"Easy, Harry, easy," said Malfoy, and then there was something far bigger pressing into him and it hurt a bit, and he wasn't at all sure he liked it. He could feel Malfoy inside him and he was really big and Malfoy's hands were teasing his nipples and cock and that felt really good, and then Malfoy moved inside him.

"FUCK!"

"That is rather the idea, Harry."

"Oh my god!"

Harry was a bit hazy on what happened after that, but he was very sure that it was bloody brilliant.

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Harry's next clear memory was of lying on his stomach on the bed, while Malfoy rubbed something into his arse. It felt cool and good and he was perfectly comfortable.
"Harry, word of advice. Do yourself a favor and marry a Slytherin. She may manipulate you into doing what she wants, but at least she'll make sure she's the only one doing so."

"WHAT?"

"Potter, I was a Slytherin, remember? This was all part of my sinister plan to get you into bed."

"WHAT? Did you think you could turn me to the dark side with really good sex?"

Malfoy smiled.

"Yes, Potter, I have a sinister plan to kill you by fucking you to death. You'll die, but you'll certainly die happy."

"So all this meant nothing?"

Malfoy sighed theatrically.

"Look, Harry, you're reasonably attractive. But I am a married man old enough to be your father. Did you honestly think there was going to be a deep and meaningful relationship here? What I'm willing to give is sex without strings, and a few life lessons along the way. That's it."

"Well... what about the Death Eater thing? Aren't you supposed to deliver me to Voldemort or something?"

"Probably. But what he doesn't know won't make him rant and rave and torture people."

Harry smiled at that, and Malfoy took the opportunity to give Harry something else to do with his mouth.

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Hermione was waiting in the common room for Harry. He was very late, and she was worried. When he opened the door, she pounced.

"Well, what happened?"

"Best detention ever. I wonder if I could get another tomorrow..."